Morning of 'The Blight' - American Fork Canyon, Hell Wall
i have been training for app. 1 solid month now. Have not felt a growth in strength, courage, or determination. It is becoming a heavy, sordid thing, shadowed w/ obsession. It is all i am beginning to be able to think about. As i sit here writing all this, i wonder why such a lofty goal? Why do i continue to train, despite my hatred for gym climbing, diets, the sore fingers & tendons? Why continue to fight when failure is so frightfully colored? A quote comes to mind: "Every society colours its own decline with illusions." Illusions to what? Perhaps the finality of it all...It all comes eventually to the same sum. What am i looking for, & what or to whom am i driven to prove? Are all these nothing but the human drive to create purpose by weaving illusion all about our constant, inevitable decline?